32 weeks and 5 days

The time is flying by and the big birthday bash is approaching as we are 4 to 8 weeks away from meeting you little one. This part of the pregnancy has been such a joy as I can now touch you and feel you in my tummy since you are running out of space. I have so much fun stroking your little legs and feet and rubbing your back. You are such a smart baby and are head down at this stage.

Your Dad and I celebrated our third year wedding anniversary yesterday and your dad surprised me with the most lovely card. I couldn't help by cry as I sat at the computer and watched the images and music that he had put together for me. He is such a lovely, lovely man and he will be a great dad to you. The other surprise of the day was when I went to get up and make breakfast and your dad announced that he had taken the morning off and we were going to have breakfast at a cafe looking over the ocean at Cronulla. We had such a nice morning and then in the evening we went to our prenatal class and began to practice different positions for birthing which was very helpful. We are really enjoying the class and we look forward to going every Tuesday night. Dad and I feel like we have a lot of knowledge from all of our study and reading, but it is great to pick up some new ideas and just get to hang out with other couples who are also pregnant for the first time.

I went to see a lovely lady who gave me a massage and energy balance on Saturday. She had so many lovely things to say about you. Who knows if they will match what you will become in your future, but just for the fun of it, I thought that I would write them down here and one day you can read them and find if indeed they are true to the path you have walked in your lifetime. She said that you would be very "left brain" creative and have a high level of interest in music. It almost sounded as if you would make a career in music and she mentioned the piano as being a possibility. She also said that you would be very clear as to your purpose in this life and that you would tell your dad and I what you needed starting as early as the age of two! She also said that you are coming in as a very advanced soul and this may be your last incarnation. She said that you are looking forward to being born and she does not see any problems whatsoever with your birth or my ability to birth you. When you are born, she images you coming through with a golden light and that yellow is going to be a very important color for you. All of these suggestions made me think that maybe you are going to decide to come and meet us sooner rather than later and that maybe you will decide to come in under the sign of a Leo. I used to think that I could not handle a Leo child as I made an association with my Dad, but to tell you the truth, I don't have that association any more or fear because your life path is different and you are unique. Leo is a strong sign and if you are going to be such a forward thinking person, it probably would really suit you, so I accept you as you are and will help you to the best of my ability to grow into the person that you need to become in this lifetime. She definitely says you are a girl, so it will be fun to find out on the day you are born if we are right about your gender. I will welcome you as a boy or a girl, but I have thought for a few months now that I am carrying a little girl and so there are a lot of pink clothes here waiting as well as blue...smile, just in case.

The other lovely thing that happened this week was that Dad and I purchased a dining table that we can't wait to share with our family when they come to visit in a week's time. I have never bought any nice furniture before and I had been waiting for years to buy a dining table and then finally we decided to buy a table. I found one that both your dad and I really liked and we could see us using in our little family. It is so rustic and a table that we can all sit around and play around without worrying about it being damaged as it is so distressed already and has a character of its own. So it was delivered on Monday, the day before our third wedding anniversary along with a beautiful tallboy. I had so much fun when you dad came home as I had him close his eyes when he walked into the candlelit room with music playing in the background. Our little house here was somehow transformed into a home. It really feels so special and cozy now with our new pieces of furniture.

During the last three weeks, you and I attended the birth of Allegra, the daughter of good friend's of ours, Ricardo and Kate Riskalla. It was a long birth support and I was not surprised as I had a feeling that Kate would take a while to let go and let her body birth her daughter. Nevertheless, Allegra was born in the morning of July 5. She came in with a bit of drama and needed some oxygen and suction, but there was never any fear on our side that she was in any danger. It just seemed to take her a bit of time to decide to come into her body and now she is here. On Saturday, we are going to go to her naming ceremony in the park at Cronulla. I would also like to have a naming ceremony for you after you are born, so it will be nice to see how they are conducted. It has been nice for you to be with me as we have attended two births during the course of your time in my tummy and you have felt on an energetic level the energy of being born.

It is still hard at times for me to believe that you are there, riding around inside me and that in a month to two months time, you will be here in my arms. I remember watching a video with your Dad where a women said that it really was an incredible moment when she felt her baby crowning and realized that a baby was coming out of her. I can image that to be the case as it is still hard to believe that I am carrying a baby and you are such a good size at this point.

I don't feel very big or cumbersome, but when I look in the mirror, I am surprised at the big moon in front of me and you are only going to get bigger in the coming weeks. Keep growing my little one so that you can be strong and healthy when you are born.

Next week is a special week as on Wednesday through Friday, we are going to go to a workshop for pregnant mothers where we are going to do some chanting and ceremony around motherhood. I have been wanting to do a workshop like this during our pregnancy, so it is going to be a very special time.

Your Uncle Mike arrives on Thursday night to visit with us and your Nanna and Poppy Power are coming for the day on Saturday and then we will go and have dinner together.

I decided to have a "Mother - Baby Blessing" for us on August 12. I had wanted some type of party to mark my passage into motherhood and your entry into the world. So I am going to write up an invite tonight for friends and family. And to treat myself, I have found a friend of a friend who is a chef and who will be making up some food for us for the party. Each person coming to the party as well as people overseas are going to send and bring a bead and two blessings, one for you and one for me and we will read them out at the party. I would also like to make a belly cast and have the people present put their blessings on the belly and have that piece of art with me in the birthing room to remind me of all the love and blessings that people have given to us for our special meeting with you. I can't wait to decorate the room where you will be born and make it a very special event. Your Dad and I are planning to have a quiet first week together with you and so we are not going to have friends and family come to see us during that time as it will be just too much. I am also planning to keep your placenta attached to you until you are ready to let go of the cord. This is called a Lotus Birth and a friend of mine, Sielke, is going to make us a Lotus Bag where we can store your placenta.

I am curious about this event called, "Birth" as I teach women about it and I have studied birth for the past year and a half, but I have not yet experienced birth myself. I definitely do not have the level of anxiety and fear that I had about birth before all of my experiences, but I did notice last night at the pre-natal class that I do wonder about the feeling that women experience as "the pain of labor" and I wish there was a way that I could associate that with something different than the physical pain of injury that "pain" is often associated with as I really don't believe that it is the same. I would like to see it as an intensity as I birth you, but not conceptualize it as "pain" per say as the uterus is a muscle that is designed to birth and it is a natural function...not an abnormal function, so it is not there to "hurt" me, but as a function of bringing you earth side into this life into this world where you have come to be our teacher and we yours.

So these are my thoughts at the moment. There are a few busy weeks ahead as we prepare to meet you. Time for me to go and figure out what we will eat for dinner as dad is at a special event tonight.

I love you little one. Momma with birth you with joy, ease of mind and spirit and great love.