8 Weeks Old

On Friday, I will be eight weeks pregnant with You, Little One. How exciting! We will call Betty and make our first appointment with her. I feel so lucky to have the choice to birth at home and choose such a lovely midwife who can attend us. There is this beautiful poem by Suzanne Arms:

A Hand Full of Hope

If we hope to create
a non-violent world
where respect and kindness
replace fear and hatred

We must begin
with how we treat each other
at the beginning of life.

For that is where
our deepest patterns are set.

From these roots
grow fear and alienation
~or love and trust.

I truly believe that you are so wise and are such a sensitive little person that you deserve, as do I, a gentle entry into this world. You know when I went with my friend Cassandra to the Calmbirth seminar last year, I physically was shaking through the whole first day. I didn't know where it was coming from, but somewhere deep inside me, I needed to heal my own birth experience. Your Grammy Jean now realizes how she missed out on my birthday by deciding to be put to sleep instead of birthing me, but I know now that she felt the fear that many women in the West have come to experience about birth. Thankfully, the Calmbirth seminar as well as the classes that I have been teaching mothers, has allowed my own inner self to heal and now I feel a sense of confidence and trust in my body. I really look forward to birthing you Little One.

As I was eating my lunch today, I was thinking how lucky we are to live in a first world country where Dad and I can afford to buy such lovely food for us to eat so that you can grow healthy and strong within me. I still have to eat every two hours or I start to feel this flip flop feeling in my stomach, but after eating, it subsides and I feel like myself again. I just feel tired at times and I take a nap with you on a daily basis. It is nice to rest as both of us our working so hard to make sure that you grow big and strong.

Dad and I have made a deposit on a permaculture course which we plan to attend for two weeks beginning on February 11. We are going to drive up to Norther NSW to a place called The Channon where we will study with Geoff Lawton. Your Dad and I have realized that we have not been on a vacation together, just the two of us, in nearly two and a half years! We have tended to spend our vacations with my family or with Dad's family, but we need some time together before you arrive as we know that being a family is different to just being a couple. We really look forward to being a family.

It is sweet as every morning, your Dad will lay on my stomach and kiss my belly where you are and tell you how much he loves you and he encourages you to grow big and strong. You have such a wonderful, wonderful man for a Dad. I get teary eyed just thinking about him. Yesterday, I was speaking to you about how kind he is and I nearly started to cry....smile.

Well, I need to go and make dinner. Keep on growing big and strong. Love you!