I had recently written a letter to a friend and I decided to make it one of my posts as it describes how we helped make you, our little one. Tomorrow we will be seven weeks pregnant.

You know after reflecting as to how we got pregnant, I can honestly say that it happened when my perspective changed and I decided to take time every fews days to meditate on the love that I felt for the child that had not yet come into our lives. I also started to visualize myself pregnant and get excited about the fact that one day, whether it be this month or next year, that I was going to have a child. David always had a firm belief that we would have children, but I have to say, now in hindsight that I was focused more on the fear that "maybe something was wrong" or "maybe we can't get pregnant" that in fact, I was pushing it away. I didn't realize this at the time, but we recently saw a wonderful movie called, The Secret. (You really must go to a video shop and rent it as it is about the power that we possess to manifest in our lives the things that we dream of if we can hold on the the positive emotion that we feel toward our goals and maintain that energy until our goal is reached...) Yes, the herbs supported me in getting pregnant and I love my osteopath, who also played her part, but I feel that I truly created this baby and it was not given to me through herbal supplements or osteopathic adjustments...David and I really brought this baby into being with our positive emotion. Rent the Secret and give it a try as it really makes you feel a whole lot better to send out the love that you feel for the children that are waiting to come to you. In our case, we had also just moved house, which was something I really needed before getting pregnant, as I did not want to raise a child in an apartment and I did not want to move when I was pregnant. So, whala, days after our move, our child was conceived....so I think there are a lot of factors to making a baby and not all of them are physical.

I was feeling fantastic and then things started changing as I entered my sixth week of pregnancy. Being pregnant is not at all what I expected as it is a gentle unfolding that begins and then changes start to happen on a physical level. My body is not behaving the way it normally does, so I need to dance to a different rhythm and the last few weeks have been about getting to know what that new rhythm is. I absolutely have to eat every two hours, a small snack or meal, otherwise I start to feel a queasiness in my stomach. Yesterday, I went to throw out the garbage and our compost and it just hit me the wrong way and I literally just made it to the kitchen sink and had to throw up three times. I laughed afterwards, as it is so bizarre that my body just simply can not take bad smells...only roses for me...smile. (David is now on garbage duty...laugh.) My tummy is already distended (and it is not from the baby) but probably being slightly bloated and my boobs, well, they were the first indication that something was going on...finally, for the first time in my life, I am starting to look voluptuous....laugh.

As I write all this to you, I can remember as well that last month, I actually had an inclining that I might be pregnant, but what was different was than other months when I thought I was pregnant more out of a wish that it be so. I was afraid to acknowledge it or say it outloud, I kept it to myself like a secret and then when we tested after my period was one day late and the test was negative, I cried out of disappointment because I also was spotting two days in a row. (Bascially, implantation bleeding that happened on Dec 24-25), so this baby was literally our Christmas present. We decided to test gain on January 1 and got the best New Year's suprise...finally a double line on the pregnancy test!

I don't want to fly long distances when I am pregnant as there is a therory out there, who know if it is 100% scientific, but that cosmic radiation can affect the baby...sounds a bit "space invaders" to me, but none the less, I am going to stay put on Austraian soil until the baby is born. Plus, we really don't have the time as I have three women who have asked me to support them in their births this year: one at the end of March, another in early May and the last, good friends of ours in July. Then, two months later, it will be our turn!

I have already hired an independent midwife, as doctors are only used here in Oz when there is a high risk pregnancy or a complicaton at birth, and with all my training, I would prefer a natural birth in a birth center with a midwife. She is a wonderful lady with 35 years expereince delivering babies from breeches to twins to just your normal presenation, all naturally. So I am going to be in very competent hands. She supported my friend Cass and will be the midwife at the birth in May. The nice thing is that she comes to our home for the prenatal visits and will see me every day at home for ten days after the baby is born. It is an amazing service and worth every penny.

We had one of the best Christmas' that I can remember. We rented a cottage out in the country with David's Mum, Dad, brother and uncle for three days. It was all about eatting, relaxing and playing board games. Lots of fun!

So little one, that is what has been happening with your mum as your ride around inside me. Your Dad made me laugh, as he does, when he said that you were finding it to be like an amusement part ride when I was throwing up yesterday. The way Dad was pretending to be you inside me, it was so funny, I am sure that you were laughing along with us.

Well, snuggle up as Momma goes to take her afternoon rest. I love you very much my dear little one. Keep growing big and strong. You have your little flippers now for your hands and feet. How exciting!