Please come soon baby!

O.K. now I am feeling a wee bit anxious as I spoke to our midwife and she is slightly concerned about the fact that I will have you any day now and she also has another mother who is due with her second baby on January 5 and that mother basically was two weeks early with her first baby. I really want to have Betty with us when we birth you little one and I just can't understand for the life of me, why or why you are still in there and nearly two weeks overdue. I think if it wasn't for the fact that the other lady is going to have her baby soon and that there is the unlikely, but chance, that we could end up with Betty's back-up instead of dear Betty, I would be so disappointed, I can't tell you as I really love our midwife. So what can I do to convince you that we are ready for you to come. What day have your chosen for your birthday? It must be something very special. I just hope it is soon and not at the same time that the other baby wants to come to meet his or her parents. I am so ready to have you. Can you please come soon? Please....

Waiting for 2010?

Your Dad had me laughing this morning and said that maybe if I laid out in the grass under the full moon naked we would have a chance of getting this labour started and meeting our baby. Hey, I'm actually considering it at this point...laugh Not only is it a Blue Moon, but a partial lunar eclipse, so I reckon my chances are pretty good! I was actually hopeful that you might come last night as late in the afternoon, I saw the mucous plug and thought, right, we are on our way. I just really can't believe I am still pregnant and there is a part of me that just feels that I will never not be pregnant. If someone would have told me that you would have been born on the last day of 2009 or the first days of 2010, I would have laughed and said, sorry, I have regular 28 days cycles, there is no way I will go that far over this baby's due date. But, little one, you are in the driver's seat you have some very special day and time picked out, I just literally can't wait to find out what it is! Hope to see you soon.

Interesting theory

A friend just wrote to me and said that her kids were born days after their "conception date. And so you were conceived on March 27 and so that would mean that you may just come sometime within the next few days.

I keep going back and forth between thinking you are a girl or a boy. Your Dad is convinced that you are a girl; I have flipped back to thinking that you may be a boy. Either sex is welcome as I have worked through all my hang-ups about both. Laugh.

We have had a very quiet Christmas. Probably the most quiet Christmas that we are going to have in ages. The day after we went to the beach, we went to a beautiful gardens called, Camelia Gardens in Caringbah to have a picnic with your Dad and sister. It was a lovely, lovely day.

Christmas day was just spent quietly here at home and on boxing day yesterday we just went for a walk at Como Pleasure Grounds. The weather over Christmas has been rainy and overcast and I have really loved the peace of it and the cooler temperatures that I hope will last until we go into labour.

Well, off to make dinner. Betty is coming today in about a half an hour for our weekly check-up. You are just kicking away happily in there. Looking forward to meeting you soon on the outside.

Love,

Momma

41 weeks plus one day

Hi Little One in There,

I just wrote a message to a friend that sums up my feelings today, but to be honest, I have been really thankful that you have chosen to come after your due date as it has given your Dad, Maia and I some lovely quiet time together as a family. We have had a mini-vacation with your Dad being home and just spending time together, but last night I just hit a bit of a wall when I realized that I was not going into labour and that most likely I was going to wake up this morning still pregnant. I am just really anxious to meet you and have the four of us together. And like I know so well, I can't be pregnant forever and you will most likely be with us within the week. You have every right to choose your own birthday and time of birth and thank goodness we are having a home birth so I am not getting pressure from "the system" to have gone into labour by this week as the hospital system expects women to have had their babies by 42 weeks and it is usually this coming week that they would start talking induction, which I think is unfair if everything is fine in there. Somehow all those astrological charts and signs do have significance in how the person is influenced in their personality and life and so why not let you determine what is best for you in this life. I would not want to do anything to get this party started unless you are ready to claim it as your birthday, so I am trying my very best to be patient and wait for your special moment. I just hit a wall last night and this morning and I am trying to shift it and just writing this message to you to say that I respect and love you is making me feel better. The other control freak side of me needs to be put to rest as I let go and trust my body and you, my baby.

Letter to my friend Beth:

I really need a prayer for peace and patience as I just feel tears in my eyes as I write this as I have hit a bit of a wall as of last night and I am getting tired of waking up every morning still pregnant. I don't feel physically bad, but I feel myself getting frustrated with the baby of all people wondering why on earth I am still pregnant nearly eight days after his or her due date. I knew that most babies were late, but most, from my estimation, come within the week after their day, so to still be pregnant today, it just has me feeling a bit down. If I take a step back and look at the big picture, I probably only have about one more week and I enjoyed reading the 1/1/10 birth date as a cool day to be born from your perspective. I enjoyed being born in 1970 as it was always easy to figure out my age...laugh. So anyway, thank you for your thoughts. I am going to make my best effort to enjoy today as I know it is about to get really busy, but now I really don't care, I just want to meet our baby and be on the other side of my new life with two kids. Nine months is a long time, but these last weeks have felt even longer.

Back to my post:

So little one, I patiently wait to birth you and see who you are as this minutes feel like hours, these days like weeks...

I love you my little one,

Momma

What day is your birthday?

Little one inside me,

I am just wondering what day you have chosen to come to us. Your due date was December 19 and I had convinced myself that you would be born in mid-December..laugh. Once I passed December 15, I let go of my frustration and now I am just curious when you will arrive to us although I am feeling a little anxious as the only day our mid-wife can not come to support us in December 25 from about 1-10pm. I really want to birth with Betty as this is my last birth and I really don't want to have a baby born on Christmas day as no matter how hard we try it is hard to share a birthday and have Christmas dinner on the same day. Boxing day would also be a day that would take away your spotlight a bit although we would do our best to make your birthday special. I was so hoping you would be born before Christmas and there is still time, but I need to respect the day you have chosen as I can't figure out why you are still in there so low in my pelvis and seemingly so ready to come out to meet us, but I also know that little babies possess a wisdom and they know the best time for themselves and the family.

Your Dad finished up work yesterday and is now "working from home" so to speak. We are going to go to the beach this morning and I will get to have my ocean swim with you in the ocean pools as that is one thing I have really wanted to do in this pregnancy and just have not had a chance or it has been too cold to do so. Then, we will go have a nice breakfast and have a walk on the beach. We are going to enjoy our days together with Maia on her own as there is something simple about just focusing on one child and now I know I will need to share myself between the two of you. It feels so right to have two children and I am really wanting to just step into that new change, but we might as well enjoy these days while I can have some quiet time to myself before it gets busy with you, our new little baby.

In the background of the last three weeks, your Nanna, Dad's Mum, has had a difficult recovery following routine gallbladder surgery. There must have been an error made during the procedure and it left her in hospital for two weeks. She just came home on Saturday and still has a drainage tube and water on her lung. She is slowly recovering, but seems to be on the other side of the worst of it.

Well, off I go to get ready for the beach. I need to get the items we will need and cream up your sister and myself.

Every night I go to bed, I wonder if tonight will be the night and then I wake up in the morning to see the sun shining. It is strange to go over a "due date," as every day that goes by seems like an eternity and although you are only three days past your date, I just can't help but feel like it is weeks...laugh. I guess I have been ready for so many weeks, it just feels strange to still be pregnant.

Well, you can't stay in there forever and I expect you will be with us sometime this week. I just hope you don't come on Christmas.

Lots of love to you my little one. Momma, Daddy and Maia are anxiously awaiting your arrival.

Mumma

Waiting for you to come to us

Dear Little One,

Well, we are now 39 weeks plus one day pregnant. You are well engaged in my pelvis, so much so that Betty, our midwife, can only feel your shoulders and I can feel you pushing up against my cervix at times. Your sister Maia is very excited to meet you. For weeks now she has been role playing the birth with me and then she takes her stuffed toys or plastic animals and figurines and pretends that one of them is having a baby. She sets the scene with someone in a tub, which she says in the birth pool, there is usually a midwife and then a Daddy helping out as well she is there on the side watching on while the baby is coming and she often will make low birthing noises like I demonstrated for her. Her favourite requested videos are "Siblings at Birth" by Jo Hunter as well as other birth videos. This week she shifted her energy to showing everyone her new baby, so she must be picking up that you are on your way soon. We sure hope so as I have had an intuition this pregnancy that you would come to us this week.

I have been nesting like mad and today had a burst of energy. I finished addressing all my Christmas cards, made chocolate as well as fruit pops for us, made my first home made pie crust for a cheese and spinach quiche that I put together, made lunch, dinner and then coloured in a beautiful flower that a friend of mine had drawn for me to remind me to open during the birth. It is on my wall.

I am so excited about birthing you. So much so that it feels like one of those moments where you don't want it to start as it will be over after all these months of preparation. I have been practising my relaxation c.d.s, mediation, breathing and just trying to eat well and take a nap when I can so I will have the energy I need if you choose to come one of these nights. The birth pool is set up, the candles ready to be lit, the photos of flowers hanging on the wall and the video camera ready to catch your grand entrance. This time around I have been doing lots of perineal massage and using an epi-node to make sure that I am well stretched and able to birth you easily as that was one regret I have about Maia's birth that she was not able to come through very easily due to a very tight right side of my perineum. So this time, no resistance, just relax and let go...my mantra is wide and soft.

Yesterday morning, I had some lovely dreams. One in which I could see the inside of my vagina and it was so wide and round that your little head and body would easily slide through in another I was walking on crystal clear ocean water and looking down I could see a baby killer whale black and white swimming past me. It was beautiful.

This pregnancy has been so very easy compared to Maia's and I had a lovely pregnancy with Maia. It was just at the end, I ended up with the flu for two weeks and a terrible back ache. The only discomfort in this pregnancy has been sore hips, which is what I had with Maia, but not as bad and some discomfort in my sacrum that was resolved with chiropractic adjustments. I really feel great and the only change that has really happened in my figure is a big beach ball belly. I did a belly cast at 38 weeks, whereas Maia's belly cast was done at 39 weeks. The size of my belly with you is slightly larger and wider, but the shape is really lovely as my belly was very compact when I was pregnant with Maia.

If we were to guess your sex, I started the pregnancy believing you were a girl, then was convinced you were a boy, and now I believe you are a little girl. I was worried if I had another girl that somehow you or Maia might feel like a "favoured" child, but a friend of mine, Cass pointed out that we can love all of our best girlfriends, but for their different unique qualities and that made me realize that I will love both you and Maia for the uniqueness that you bring to our life.

In terms of names, if you are boy, we will call you Kiran, which is Hindu for Beam of Light. The Gaelic spelling means black and I did want you to sound like a sorcerer...Black Power...laugh. If you are a girl, we have had a heck of a time coming up with a name and it was only this week that we FINALLY found a name that rings true for what we feel will be reflect your personality or the feeling we have had during this pregnancy....Serena.

The other names that were possibilities and the one that was at the top of the list before we found Serena was Arianna. It is a lovely name, but somehow it just did not seem to fit. We also tossed around the name Kirianna, for a night, and then Elise for a time as well as Annalise. So those were the names that were discussed during this pregnancy. Serena...is just perfect and I am so happy with that name choice, it just feels so right for you.

I am so looking forward to meeting you. I do hope you will come this week. My dream birth would be to give birth to you in water and catch you as you come out. I really hope that I have the opportunity to do that...I can't wait to let go and welcome you to our family. We are so excited to meet you and everything is in place to make sure that you have a lovely entry to this world. Your Dad will stay with us for a month and then my mother will be here for another month. It will be so special being together as a family. I still can't believe that I have a little son or daughter inside me. Being a mother already, somehow makes the birth even more emotional as I know the love I feel for your sister and that love will only multiply when we have your with us...I know what it is to be a parent and that love is out of this world.

I send you a warm welcome and much love little one as I go to bed wondering, will this be the night that you decide to come to us. I love you my dear baby...Mumma.